Tomb Raider: Definitive Edition

Alright. I'm going to start this by stating that I don't like puzzle games. Like, at all. The only reason I picked up this game is because I have already overplayed Titanfall and this game received great ratings. Plus, Gamestop Dude told me it was really long. Which is great because I'm trying to save money and my wife is out of town all weekend. Let the underwear-beer-and-coffee gaming commence.

First things first, her boobs shrunk. Not that I'm complaining; anything more than a handful is a waste. It's just... quite noticeable. Next, this game is absolutely gorgeous. It's one hell of a jump from the last one I played, which was 1st generation Playstation. Cool little useless side note: pop the 1st gen Playstation disc into a CD player (what's that?) and you can listen to the cinematics. Anyways, just the first cinematic of this game has me intrigued solely off the basis of beauty.

Then, the buttom-mashing of the opening gameplay didn't waste any time in killing me, though I did like how I got to set myself on fire in the first 30 seconds. Well played. The camera is awfully jumpy too, but I think they did that on purpose. It may add to the gameplay. Haven't quite figured it out yet. I should really be recording myself playing this game; already cussed the TV out twice.

-That log is very conveniently placed across a ravine. I should balance walk across it.
-Shoot! I have to actually balance her as I walk across it.
-Hold-on hold-on hold-on. Is my Hawaiian shipmate-dude wearing a Milwaukee Bucks shirt?
-Nope, not Bucks. Random rugby team.

-Oh man, Now I have to feed her by hunting, gutting, and cleaning a deer.

-I've always wanted to fight off a pack of wolves with a bow and arrow.

-Oh, snap, some dude just said the "F" word! Must be a bad guy.

-Great. I'm being hunted by rapey looking dudes.

-Ha! Got past them.

-Wait, why do I have to go into an actual wolves den?

-Oh, cool. Who would have guessed there'd be a jump-scare cut scene in the wolves den? I love spilling beer all over myself.

-Ah! Her boobs are smaller because this is a younger (prequel) Lara Croft. Makes sense now.

-Oh? You can change her entire outfit, mid-mission. Because logic.

-The island went from jungle to tundra in the span of eight minutes. Reminds me of Wisconsin.

You also have to collect salvage to strengthen (upgrade) the tools/weapons you find. This game does a good job of slowly introducing weapons and tools, too. Just as you are almost bored of using the same tool over and over, BOOM!, someone gives you a rock-climbing axe, and you get to scale a mountain. You do get choices as to how you go about taking on enemies too. You could shoot arrows off the walls next to them to scare them into looking into a different direction. You could shoot glass lanterns to set them on fire. Or you could pull out your sawed-off and wet-'em-up real nice. You can also set up camp throughout the game, though you don't get to chose where. Lara just posts up for the night and that campsite becomes a waypoint that you can start from or "warp" to. There's also a few sections where you don't even realize it's a cut scene, it's that seamless.

I'd also like to point out that I played this game for about 3-1/2 hours (or four porters, depending on how you measure time), only to find out I'm only at 28%. Then, when I'm about to call it quits for the night, I find out there's a multiplayer part of this game too! Unfortunately, it seems as if everything the creators did right in single-player, they did equally wrong in multiplayer. Game play is choppy, maps are small, and objectively there isn't much selection. All that negativity aside, it's still pretty fun. Other than free-for-all and team deathmatch, there are two other game modes. Rescue, where one side collects supplies and the other side melees them to death, seems slow, or at least the two games I played were. Cry For Help is pretty cool. Here one side tries to start three out of four radio transmitters while the other side kills them and steals their batteries.

All-in-all, this is a great game. And definitely worth the used $40 pickup at Gamestop. Once I beat the story, I'll let you know my opinion of that too, but as of right now, it's bed time.